You Are What You Love, Not Who Loves You
by Kae Maple Lefebvre
Summary: Some of them have the ears and tails of animals and are looked down upon by the regular kids at this finishing school. Despite this, some live normal lives, until friendships evolve and feelings change. But even then they'll make it, because you are what you love and not who loves you. femslash - OC/OC. WILL NOT BE FINISHED, IDEA HAS DIED.
1. Chapter 1

You Are What You Love Not Who Loves You

**(Kaelan's POV)**

This school's a fucking joke. it's like _any _of us want to be here. Just because we're a *little* different from your average human means nothing. So we had ears and tails, that doesn't make us animals. 

Well, some of us, anyways. There's a few here that have given in to their other selves, and are in turned shunned by the rest of us. Because social isolation _clearly _doesn't exist here, right? Bellevue's a small college town - nothing here _but _Distant Flame, this institution we all attend in hopes of getting degrees from. 

I was only in this for a degree in creative writing, I figured I'd pair it with a bachelor's of history when I got around to it. That, and I wanted to start a band on the side to keep me occupied. I mean, everyone here had a dream or two they wanted to see come true. 

"Watch where you're going, you good for nothing mutt!" 

And then there's people that just want to watch them go up in smoke.

I half stumble and attempt to slide to the other side of the hall, great, that bitch is back. I shouldn't even be saying bitch technically, she's got fluffy little rabbit ears that flop sideways and interrupt her raven black hair. 

"I'm not a mutt, Chyna. Middle name proves it." I sighed, but she still turned to glare at me, pinkish eyes scheming. (As well as the ears and the tails, some of us also carry albino traits.) 

And in one fluid movement I'd be tripped and I was on the floor, my books scattered for the next few feet, my last copy of the physics final paper at her feet. Smirking, she picked it up, and ripped it in two. I knew better than to react, that would only have rewarded her more, so I stayed quiet as she continued to tease. 

"Aw, what's the poor whittle doggy gonna do now that her homework's gone? You should eat it, then you can use the excuse that a dog ate your homework!" 

I growled, I wasn't about to give into yet another series of remarks about the half species I was, not again.

Just as Chyna was about to say something else, I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to a familiar voice. 

"Missing these?" He smiles, handing me the majority of my books back before turning to the black haired half-bunny that had caused me to drop my stuff, "And Chaundra, next time you decide to find an underclassmen to fuck with, make sure she doesn't have friends that could fuck you up right back."

_This _was just another reason I loved having guys for friends - Skoda wasn't someone you wanted to make mad, because when he was, oh, it was something. He was a good foot taller than me, with shaggy silverish-grey hair that at its longest was to his shoulders, and his ears and tail were also grey.

"Funny you should talk, Driftwood, you're no older than she is." Chyna sneered, her nose twitching slightly .

"I'm older than the two of them, and in terms of prey my half species outranks you," another voiced joined in, and Skoda and I turned at the sight of wings belonging to our friend Talos. 

"TALOS!" I yelled, getting up and hastily collecting my things as the bell was about to ring signalling classes to start. At the sight of the large falcon-like wings, Chyna's face paled and she seemed to shrink a few inches. 

With another glare in my direction, she glanced at the clock and retreated to her next class.

I sighed, "Thanks guys. I don't know how much longer I can put up with this for...It's everyday. She's only a year older than me and it's like we're worlds apart. I mean, given she's got a cotton ball glued to her ass, but still." 

Skoda nodded, "Kaelan, c'mon, we've got class. Talos, you gonna be around after school today? That new skatepark looks pretty fun, and I could use something to burn off steam, that bunny just pisses me off with the way she treats people." 

The brown haired half-falcon nodded, "Just text me. I've got study hall, so I can reply and all that."

"Alright." 

"It's not like it should bug me, you know? She's a bunny, for fuck's sake, I'm a wolf. But it's always the quiet ones that mean you no harm that can trouble you the most," I whispered to the next desk over, the class was supposed to be working on some stupid packet for english.

Skoda nodded. 

"It's the same for the half-rodents that go after me because my sister's half-hamster on my step-dad's side. Stupid, really. It just hurts me to see you take it day after day, you look so miserable."

"Well I'm not." I almost snapped, I hated when guys read into me and tried to interpret my actions and feelings. 

'"Jeez, defensive are we? I just think you'd be much happier if you...talked to more people, got out there. You know, go on a couple dates, get popcorn at the movies, share a frappuccino at Starbucks."

I cringed.

"Thanks, rub it in that I'm single. If I didn't know better, I'd say you're hitting on me right now." I laughed, but I almost thought I saw hurt flash in his brown eyes. 

_He hadn't been trying to REALLY ask me out, had he?!_

After the realization hit that I may have just friend zoned him, I felt my face flame up, and I tried to hide behind my books.

"Well, it really wouldn't hurt if we hung out some more outside of class," he continued, "Watched hockey in the common room, or hit the skate park after 7th block. I mean we could even run to the coffee shop together between classes, just so you're not so –" he paused.

"So vulnerable." I finished for him, I hated admitting that but I felt like no-one understood my anyways besides he and Talos, and they were guys – just once I wish I could meet a girl in this school I could get along with.

And I mean, yeah, my dorm mates put up with me, but they mostly left me alone to my own devices. The only time I ever really socialized with any of them was dinner, and even then we didn't talk much. I just wasn't like the rest of them, and I liked it that way.

"You're not vulnerable, but if you wanna put it that way, sure. And uh, after third block, before lunch, um, would you want to start? I mean, I'll pay if you wanna go get coffee…"

I smiled, but I knew now he was trying to get out of where I'd placed him.

"Skoda, don't get me wrong, I love you as a friend, but I think if you're trying to ask me out I'm going to wait a bit, I just don't think I'm ready and I'd rather wait until we're upperclassmen. It's only another year,

my birthday's in October and I'll be legal."

"So you don't want to date me because you're not legal? What you, think we'd get into trouble?" he shot back, clearly hurt.

"N-no, it's nothing like that! It's just I'd rather focus on my studies right now and I think having a boyfriend right now would really throw me off track. I'll go for coffee with you as a friend, but don't expect me to kiss you if you drop me off at my night class. I'm not like that."

_Ouch. _I could see the hurt written all over his face by this point, and although it probably should've made me feel bad, I felt fine. I guess it was because I've known him so long that he's more like an older brother to me than someone I would consider dating, but still. There's just something to me that doesn't feel right about dating him.

Like Talos was any different, I wouldn't have even allowed the thought to cross my mind - he was half falcon, wolves didn't mix with birds. Nor with bunnies, I snorted in retrospect. Most of the half-felines learned to avoid me, I knew I hadn't done anything wrong but there was just that damn species barrier. Still - if I could find just one other friend that was a different species, it'd be nice.

"-lan. Kaelan, you okay? You're zoning out." Skoda whispered, throwing a paper ball at my face, which I caught and tossed to the recycle bin three feet to my left.

"I'm fine. Just thinking." 

He looked me over and I honestly wished I'd let Chyna torment me so I'd be late to class and hadn't had to deal with him so much.

"Vel. You can't keep holding everything in. You've been shut down for the past week whenever I try to talk to you." 

My eyes widened and I ran a hand through my purple bangs, he'd _never _called me 'Vel' before, and I knew it was a shortened form of my middle name. 

"Did you just. No. No. Skoda, stop. No nicknames. Please, just leave me to my thoughts for once!"

And with that I got up, grabbed my bag, and headed for the door as the bell to end class sounded, intending to get into the hall and lose myself in the crowd before he could follow.

**(Skoda's POV)**

I watched Kaelan's bushy tan tail sway slightly as she stormed out of the room when the bell rang, obviously upset at whatever I had said. it's not like I was prying or anything, she just looks so damn sad and out of it everyday that I have to wonder what the hell is wrong.

I figured it'd probably be best to leave her alone for the rest of the day, so I grabbed my phone and texted Talos, thinking coffee sounded really good right now.

'_Talos - coffee? Kaelan ditched me to go study with her group' _I lied.

Not twenty seconds later I got a reply, '_Sure. Mug or Grind?'_

'_Mug. More in open.'_

Alright, so atleast I could vent to somebody about all this - I just don't get it, that's the third time this week Kaelan's shot me down, but this was the first time I've been forward enough to directly ask her to go for coffee. 

But, she'll come around. I hope.

By the time I met Talos down in the basement of the upperclass dorm's coffee shop called The Mug, I almost didn't feel like it anymore.

But then I saw Talos, drinking what could've only been his standard order - a large black coffee with two shots of hazelnut and espresso.

"Why do you do that? It's not like you need the caffeine, man."

He laughed as I set my bag down, my coat over it as I went grab money out of one of the pockets.

"I'm just used to it. So Kaelan ditched, eh? What's she got to study, anyways? Finals aren't for three weeks yet."

I shrugged, debating if I wanted to tell him of my yet-again-rejection.

"I'm gonna go order - when I'm back I'll explain all this."

I came back three minutes later with a medium peppermint hot chocolate and a vanilla scone. Sitting back down, I sighed.

"She didn't ditch me. I asked her to join me for coffee, offered to pay and she got flustered and took off on me before I could catch up." I admitted, feeling my ears droop in shame.

Talos actually laughed.

"How many times have you done this now? Face it, she's just _not _that into you."

"This was only the first time I asked her directly. The rest have just been suggestions and notes...and why would you go there? That's a terrible movie!" 

"Say what you want, sure it was." 

"And I know this is off topic, but did you hear about the transfer students we're getting right before exams?"

"No shit, really? I thought those flyers were asking if WE wanted to leave instead!" I shot back, laughing, "But no, I heard. Josh is talking about rooming with one, though we don't know the poor guy's halfanimal yet."

"I just hope some of the girls are better looking than what we've got around here. Maybe a few wild cats, a dingo or two or even a hyena would be alright, just no more damn bunnies."

"You can't blame them for fucking like rabbits, it's in their nature," I joked, although Talos gave me a 'shut up someone could hear that' look and I shrugged. Before I could come up with something better, both of us looked up at the barista calling out a drink we were very familiar with.

"Thanks, Matty."

Kaelan turned, ears perked, smiling as she inhaled the scent of the steaming hot chai latte in her hands. And then she saw us, and everything about her demeanor changed, her smile faded, ears lowered and her tail stopped moving.

She then turned back around and walked up the stairs back out of the coffee shop, into the cold December air. 

"Did that really-" I start, only to have Talos cut in.

"Yeah, she just-" 

"Pretended not to notice-" 

"Dude you fucked up big time." 

We both look at each other and laugh, "You don't think I realized that already?!"


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: now it's time to introduce the of half of this story, from one of the transfer's POVs. This may seem confusing, but it's a flashback written to present day, so just bear with us. Also, if you'd like to submit an OC the link in on my profile in the 'forums' section. I'm sure you can all find it rather easily. ~ K.J.**_

**[Zabrina POV]**

"Zeeny weenie Zabi!" 

"Doesn't believe in showers! Her mouth IS her shower!" 

"It's because she's a cat! A nasty, filthy alley cat!" 

"Go back to the gutter where you belong!" 

Those are the types of insults I heard growing up. Everyday, they all made fun of me just because I was different than them. How was this so? I was a half-cat in a school full of birds. Here, let's backtrack a little.

My name is Zabrina Mao Salemnyx. I grew up in an orphanage in a little town called Kosta in the countryside of Japan. How I got to be in an orphanage in the first place was that my mother died at childbirth. This was because she was frail to begin with, and the birth was too much for her body to handle. My father, overwhelmed with grief, ran himself off a cliff the next night. He took care of me for one night, but I guess I looked way too much like my mother for him to bare. Selfish much? Yes. But I guess I'll never fully understand. 

My grandmother took me in and raised me until I was about 4 years old, but then she died of old age and then that left me with no one else. She knew she was going to pass, so she made arrangements for me at the local orphanage to come and collect me after her passing. I lived there and went to the local elementary/high school, which was all half-avian kids. Kosta was the diverse community, but the majority were of avian descent. Kids who went to the school there were heavily picked on by the bird kids, so they transferred out and made the long commute to the next town over, just to have a piece of sanity. But of course, since the orphanage was my guardian, I didn't have a choice. 

I attended the school up until my Senior year, in which, I graduated with flying colors. I was 18 and because I was of legal age, I was now able to leave the orphanage. But here's the kicker: They won't let you leave until you have a set decision on where you're going and what you're doing. They didn't want their children to just go out and live on the streets, they wanted them to be successful. Which was good, but I just wanted to spread my wings and fly. With analogies like those, you know I grew up around bird kids

.

So here we are, present day. I'm now 19 and since I couldn't find anywhere to go, I'm attending the community college for just basic schooling so I can get all of my general education out of the way, so when I do figure out what I want to do, I can dive right into it. And just like my elementary/high school: it was flowing with bird kids. Even though I was older, the same kids who I grew up with STILL made fun of me. 

"Ey, Zabi! So, why haven't you left yet? Do you enjoy getting picked on or something?" one of the half-hawks called out to me as I walked down a hallway after class. I sighed, 

"Yes. I enjoy it SO much." I turned to the guy and grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to me, "It turns me on." I purred. The guy groaned in disgust and shoved me away, 

"Good lord! You're messed up! And brush your teeth! I can SMELL the tuna from here." he said as he took off running down the hall. I couldn't help my heavy sarcasm at times. It was too easy. I kept walking and I passed the school counselor's doors. Every once in a while, I looked up at their little bulletin boards and pamphlet racks in hopes that something better was out there for schools, or anything, for me to go to. I wanted to leave Kosta as soon as possible. 

I scanned the rack for this week's installment of brochures. A lot of it was the same crap, the majority didn't interest or apply to me, I sighed. But just as I was about to turn away, one all the way at the bottom caught my eye. It was a new brochure with the school's name "Distant Flame Boarding School" popping out in bright letters. I opened it up and inside read the little bit about the school. 

"_Looking to advance yourself in the arts and entertainment industry? Want to go to school in a beautiful, conveniently located campus where you can coincide studies, social and living atmospheres into one balanced experience? If yes, then Distant Flame Boarding School is for you! We offer classes tailored to your specific needs, whether it be for studies or even species, we're here for you! Majors include, but are certainly not limited to:_

_-Music Production_

_-Theater_

_-Artistry_

_-Architect_

_-Musician_

_-Literature_

_-Creative Writing_

_-and much much more!  
_

_Don't let your dreams be that 'distant flame' that seems unattainable. Let us be the distant flame that IS attainable! Call today for a free tour and more information!"_

My jaw dropped. This is it. THIS is where I wanted to go. Looking at the small pictures of the campus, the dormitory buildings that looked like damn-near apartments, this is it. I HAVE to go here. I looked at the address and it was located all the way in the United States in a city called Bellevue. I needed to know more about this. I folded the brochure neatly and put it in my back pocket of my black Tripp jeans and I raced back to the orphanage. 

"Ah Zabrina! Welcome home!" a little old lady greeted me at the door with a friendly smile.

"Good evening, Grandma Moshi." I smiled back. Grandma Moshi was a half-dog, half-shiba inu to be exact, and she was the sweetest, grandmotherly, old lady that helped take care of everyone here at the orphanage. She was hunched over with her wooden cane and she patted my shoulder for that was all she could reach. I smiled and flicked my tail around calmly. 

"So how was your day, dear? Come sit. Grandma Moshi made cookies." she said sweetly as she walked to the kitchen. 

"Cookies..?" I said, my nose twitching. I followed happily and sat down at the table on a floor mat and she sat across from me with a plateful of fresh chocolate chip cookies. I took one and ate it happily. Grandma Moshi's cookies were the best in the world. 

"My day was wonderful! I know what I want to do with my life, Grandma Moshi." I said happily as I pulled out the neatly folded brochure and set it on the table for her to examine. She put on her glasses and unfolded the paper and looked it over. After a few minutes of silence, she looked back up at me. 

"Zabrina… Is this what you really want to do? What is it that you want to do at this school?"

"I want to go into music production. I want to make music, Grandma Moshi." I said confidently. She looked back at the brochure and then slid the paper back to me and took off her glasses.

"I haven't seen you this happy and certain about something in your whole life, Zabrina. It fills Grandma Moshi's heart with a light that I've never felt before. I want you to go, my little Zabi. You go and be successful." 

My eyes lit up and my ears and tail perked up in happiness. "You mean it? You really do?" 

"Yes, my child… There's only one thing I must ask of you before you go." 

"Anything, Grandma Moshi. Anything!" 

"You must come back for Grandma Moshi's cookies." she said sweetly. Tears formed in my eyes and I got up and hugged her and giggled with her. 

A week later, the orphanage got everything squared away with the school and I was all set to go. I was spending my last night in the orphanage with all of my fellow orphans that I grew up with. The younger ones were asleep in their own room, the one's I was with were in the ages between 15-17. 

"Wow Zabi… You're going to really be gone now, aren't you?" Pishta, a little half-mouse girl said with sad eyes. 

"I'm going to come back to visit! And you can always come visit me as well. I'll be around." I said coolly as I patted her head. 

"Yeah, but who's going to stand up to those bird-brains over there at school for us?" Simon, a little half-cat like myself, said.

"Oh don't you worry 'bout a thing, you two. They won't be bothering you anymore." I said with a smirk. 

It was now after hours and it had to be 1am. I dressed myself in all black to where I looked like a ninja. I snuck out through my little window of the elder kid's room when everyone was asleep and jumped to a nearby tree. I did a lot of sneaking out growing up, so this was a piece of cake. I swiftly made my way across town to the grade school and college buildings. A few lights were on, but nothing I couldn't make my way around without getting caught. 

Silently, I crept around the building of the grade school and found a partially open window that led to the basement. I shrugged off the little backpack I had with me and pulled out matches and some broken pieces of wood that I swiped from the fireplace back at the orphanage. I struck the match and lit the pieces of wood on fire in my hands and then threw them down into the open window. Smoke started billowing quickly and that's when I moved over to the college building. There wasn't an open window, but I found an air vent and popped that cover off and did the same. The burning pieces of wood clanged as they went through the vent, and suddenly there was a huge explosion from within. I leaped back and saw flames and smoke rage through the buildings. I threw my cheap backpack and the rest of my matches and wood into the flames as I walked away from the scene with no regrets. All the torment, the bullying, my childhood. Everything, just up in flames and gone with the wind. 

_(fast forward two weeks - it's only a week before exams and Distant Flame is up in arms preparing and freaking out)_

**(Kaelan's POV)**

It was a usual Monday, except that the transfer students were coming in today and everyone was busying themselves trying to calm during review week, because finals started Friday and that's when all hell would break lose. 

'_As if it was contained any other time of the year,' _I thought bitterly, rounding the corner from the science wing to head to the commons for lunch. I didn't expect to hear Chyna running her mouth yet again - and this time it wasn't directed at me. 

I looked around, sticking to the wall of the crowded hallway, finding the bleach blonde bunny firing poorly thought-out insults at a rather pretty half-cat who looked dazed and a little more than confused. 

"Why don't you go back to where you came from, neko! You're sure as hell not gonna fit in here with coloring like that!" 

"Excuse me?!" the other girl started, I saw that she had chin length reddish-brown hair and out of it poked small cat ears that were almost the same shade of her hair, maybe a little more orange than red. 

'_Finally a ginger in this school, thank god.' _I giggled inwardly, my love for Doctor Who had taken over my mind at the moment. 

"You think you're so special just 'cuz you're from Japan, hey? NEWSFLASH! None of us want to be here, so do us a favor and leave before you learn what this school's really about. And stay OUT of my way while you're at it!" 

And with a rough shove, Chyna pushed the cat-girl into the nearest locker so her books would fall, and the girl tripped over them looking like she was going to cry.

As soon as I was sure I wasn't in Chyna's line of sight, I ran to the girl, who was hurrying to collect her books. 

"Need some help? These books are heavy!" I started, grabbing for the nearest one, noticing the title read something about working a sound table for recordings. 

"Oh, I didn't drop these...some bimbo, half-bunny caught me off-guard and shoved me down. And thank you, you're the first person to talk to me today..." she replied, blushing slightly in embarrassment as I handed her the book back. 

"Yeah, that's Chyna Wilkinsan, she's a bitch to everyone, don't take it personal. Oh hey, you're one of those transfer students, aren't you? I'm Kaelan Cameron. If you don't really have anyone to talk to, I could show you around and kinda be your guide til you get used to it here, I mean, everyone's gotta have a first friend here, I never had one so I guess it's why I wanna help you," I explained quickly, hoping I wouldn't scare her. 

But to my surprise she smiled and her orange tail flicked as if to indicate she was happy. 

"That sounds like a great idea. I'm Zabrina Salemnyx, everyone back home just called me Zabi though." 

I nodded, "Well, I was just heading to lunch, I'll bet you're hungry. If you'd like to join me I can introduce you to some people if you'd like." I offered, already thinking of how Talos and Skoda would react to me all of a sudden actually talking to another girl, let alone one that was the complete opposite species of my own.


	3. Chapter 3

**(Normal POV)**

The commons were never packed, even though most of the school ate around the same time, considering most of the classes were mixed in grade level.

By the time Kaelan and the new girl manage to find Kaelan's other friends, two of them are frantically waving the pair over to their table. 

"I knew they'd react like this...they need to calm down already, it's like they've never seen me NOT walking by myself." Kaelan commented, almost as though she'd been expecting the entire scene before her. 

Zabrina smirked at almost how high-schoolish this scene was. 

"Hey, at least you have people who are so eager to see you on a daily basis." she smirked. "Back at my old school, I was bullied everyday." 

"Yeah, that's bunny that you're talking about, that happens everyday. It's just that one though, what species was your problem at your old school?"

Zabi half-frowned, "Avian descent. Half-birds. My small town was primarily birds and the schools were all half-bird kids. If you weren't a bird, you got picked on everyday. Kids from my town even went as far as travelling to the next town over just to avoid confrontation. But I didn't have a choice. I lived at the orphanage and that was my guardian, so I just went to what was convenient." Zabi shrugged. "I don't think about it anymore. I came to America to start a new life. One that's worth living and not that crap I grew up with." 

The two reached the table where the two boys were beckoning them. 

"Hey hey. This is new, Kaelan, who's your friend?" Talos started, Kaelan shook her head as if to tell him to quit making fun of the apparent new events. 

"Transfer student, and you guys said I wouldn't be lucky enough to run into one!" 

Skoda laughed, "And she's not running away from you yet, You'll learn, she's a weird one."

"Am not, shut up. And her name's Zabrina by the way. Zabrina, the one teasing me is Skoda, the boy with the lime green hoodie is Talos. I'm sure you'll love them as much as I do soon enough." 

"Aw, you wuv us?!" both boys mocked, pretending to be shocked. 

"Oh just shut up and eat already, we're gonna go get food, we'll be right back. Come on, Zabrina - er, can I call you Zabi or do you think I don't know you well enough to use it yet?"

Zabi chuckled. "It's ok! Whatever is easiest for you guys. Yes, I'll come with you, Kaelan."

The two of them went off to the food serving areas. It was a more upscale cafeteria where you could just go help yourself. They had everything from sushi to pasta to salads, sandwich bars and you could even make yourself breakfast foods as well. Couldn't complain with the selection.

"Ooh pasta…" Zabi drooled to herself as she wandered off in the direction of the pasta bar, her tail flicking about.

Kaelan meanwhile, headed directly for the sandwich bar, opting for red pepper hummus on honey wheat with shredded chicken and lettuce, afterwards grabbing a lemonade from the drink station before walking to pay for it all, swiping her student ID at the cashier stand.

"Zabi, you find any- woah. You going to be able to eat all that?"

Her eyes widened at the large plate the neko girl was carrying, it had a layer of ramen noodles covered with alfredo sauce and then that was topped with mostaccioli noodles and a light sprinkle of italian herbs.

"This is nothing!" she giggled, turning around to look at the drinks before grabbing a tall glass of fruit punch and starting to walk over to Kaelan. 

"You sure like your carbs, don't you? Talk about the freshman fifteen..." 

Zabi looked at Kaelan confused.

"Freshman… Do you know how old I am, puppy?" Zabi said comically, not insulting at all. "I'm 19 and the time I did complete at my old college before I came here counts as a year. I'm a Sophomore."

"You're still underclass like me, so it doesn't matter. And speaking of which - you have any idea which wing you got put in for dorming? I'm on the third floor of Benson Hall, it's the music wing, most of us there are music majors. Funny because I'm the only one that has it as a minor, but still."

"Ah yeah, my things are being moved in as we speak to the fourth floor of the hall across the way, I think it's Bigelow? It's a little far, but the best they could do with me coming in halfway through the year.

"That sucks, Bigelow's the _only _hall that doesn't have an elevator, that's how old this place is...or people just were stupid when they built that particular building I don't know. But yeah, do you know if you have a room mate? I used to, but she moved out after we got into a couple of fights...well actually she got caught with alcohol and drugs and all that, but I'm alright having my room to myself. If they're still moving your stuff in you could crash in my room tonight, I mean- fuck, that sounds _really _bad. I'm sorry I just - you're the first friend that actually hasn't thought I'm a complete freak or something and I don't want to scare you away and anything but-"

Zabi couldn't help but absent-mindedly nibble on her noodles as Kaelan talked and she stopped when she has asked her about spending the night.

"Oh.. That's very nice of you, Kaelan. But I think all my boxes and minor furniture should be all there in an hour, and after lunch I was going to head back and unpack and sleep there. Get acquainted with the room and feel and all. I really do appreciate it though. If you want, I don't have classes or anything tomorrow, being that it's Saturday. You could come by and check out my room and we could hang out? My roommate won't mind...I don't have one." Zabi winked and stuck her tongue out slightly.

"Sure. That's sounds cool, the only thing I really have to do tomorrow is study for exams...and I only have two this semester, so thing's aren't as hectic as they could be." 

By the time they'd made plans to hang out it Zabrina's room the following day, they'd returned to the table and had both sat down, noticing both of the boys were quiet. 

"What's wrong with the two of you? You're quiet!" Kaelan stated in mock-shock, grabbing for her lemonade. 

"I've never seen you this happy. You look like you're actually having a good day for once." Skoda pointed out, realizing the new girl probably was the reason Kaelan suddenly didn't seem so depressed. 

Zabi smiled at Kaelan as she noticed her face turn a nice shade of red. 

"It's okay, don't sweat it. Boys will be boys." Zabi shot at the two. 

"Haha, I suppose you're right about that one." Skoda smiled. They all were chowing down on their food and when they were done, they all leaned back in their chairs totally stuffed.

"Man… I could eat for days, but I have to stop sometime." Talos noted.

"Well, yes, it's because you're a bird boy. All avians can eat 10 times their weight in food and don't gain a thing." Zabi said. 

"That is very true. I'd say I have quite the good figure about me." he said while stroking his torso. Kaelan facepalmed.

"And here you go again. I swear, if you weren't so narcissistic, you could get yourself a girlfriend. You should see the way some of the swan girls look at you. It's really sad, because you don't notice half of them. Then again, with the way some girls look at Skoda it's easy to understand why you're single."

"HEY! What do I have to do with any of this?!" Skoda cut in, laughing.

"Look at you. You're so banged up and covered in bandages from all your stupid little ideas and stunts that all the girls think you're a walking timebomb that could get them hurt just as easily!"

Immediately her hand flew to her mouth, "Oh god, Skoda, I didn't mean any of th- I'm sorry, I just- oh man, I should just- I'm gonna go now, I'll be in my dorm if you need me." and with that, the brunette wolf girl got up, discarded her tray and dishes and hurried out of the room without another word.

Skoda's nose twitched and he shook his head and walked away, muttering something under his breath the same time Kaelan walked away. Talos sighed, "Really… Not again. Those two, I tell ya. Skoda really has it out for her, but she wants nothing of it. I know he's kind of a dip, but he's one of the best to have."

Zabi smirked, "Hmm… In a way, that doesn't really surprise me too much. I think I might know why." She then got up from the table and walked out of the dining hall.

**(Zabrina POV)**

I left the dining hall and started walking back to my dorm. I went outside and I stopped when it came to the fork in the path in which, you could go to either Bigelow on the left, straight ahead to a classroom building, or Benson Hall to the right. I decided upon going to Benson to see if Kaelan was ok. She was a very nice girl and, despite her being a little spastic, I could tell that I could be good friends with her quickly.

I went inside the hall and headed up to the third floor. I didn't know which room was hers, so I knocked on the first door I saw. A weird looking half chameleon girl opened the door.

"Eyy, 'sup?" the girl nodded at me. My nose twinged from the rancid smell that radiated from the room. I couldn't even begin to try and figure out what it was.

"Uh...hi. I'm looking for the room of Kaelan? She's a short little dog girl. I know she lives on this floor."

"Oh yeah! That one. She's just right down there in 303."

"Thanks." I said abruptly and then turned on my heels and left. I went down to the room and I heard music coming through the door. I then knocked.

"SKODA, TALOS GO AWAY!" she yelled through the door.

"Kaelan, I just want to make sure you're ok. You seemed pretty upset and you left pretty abruptly." I said calmly through the door. 

**(Kaelan's POV)**

After that whole scene in the commons, I took off to Benson Hall, intending to lock myself in my room and cry. Why the fuck had I said all of that? I didn't get it. I was sick of Skoda constantly trying to flirt with me, even though this time he hadn't even been trying and I'd just shot him down again.

I absentmindedly started humming something, and I couldn't think for the life of my what it was, until I realized my stereo was still playing the CD I'd put in earlier this morning. I smiled and I turned the volume up when I realized Talos' copy of Sleeping With Sirens' Feel was playing.

"_I've been thinking lately about you and me,_

_And all the questions left unanswered, How it all could be._

_And I hope you know, You never left my head, _

_And if I ever let you down, I'm sorry._

_Whoa-oh, Oh NO NO NO! Whoa-oh_

_I see you around here lately, You smile brighter than you should._

_And me I've been so lonely, I'm glad you're doing good._

_'Cause I can't forget, The way it used to be,_

_And if I ever let you down, Well I'm sorry..."_

At this point I hit the mute button. I just needed to take a deep breath and think. I knew Skoda really liked me, but like I've said before, there just was something wrong in my mind about dating him. I just couldn't see it happening - I mean, I see him as an older brother, not a boyfriend. In truth, I'm not even sure I want a boyfriend, I mean...I've never really had a severe crush on a guy. With girls, it's a bit of a different story, I've always been really jealous of attractive girls, not like that's a bad thing, but still. I just don't know what's wrong with me.

'_Must be a phase.' _ I thought bitterly before there was a soft knock at my door.

"SKODA, TALOS GO AWAY!" I yelled, knowing one of them must've came to check on me. To my surprise a soft female voice responded.

_Holy shit, how did Zabi figure out which room was mine so quickly? Oh, duh, we have name tags on the doors, I'm a moron._


	4. Chapter 4

**(Normal POV)**

"Oh." Kaelan's voice cracks slightly and she automatically presses the play button on the stereo, making it sound like she's busy, but without seeing her Zabi knows the girl has to be blushing. She opens the door after fumbling with the lock for a few seconds.

"So yeah, I'm perfectly fine, see? I'm not upset or confused or just anything bad at all right now! I'm fine, you can go back to your dorm now."

"Holy crap… such hostility… That doesn't sit well with me." Zabi said semi-sternly. She pushed her way past Kaelan and closed the door behind them. "I came to make sure you're alright, which clearly you're not. Want to talk about it?" Zabi paced the small room, looking around at all of Kaelan's things. Various band posters hung on the walls, her bed was neatly made up against the wall, a large stereo sit upon her dresser with a record player next to it. And then next to those, a neat display of CDs and vinyls were stacked on a shelf. 

"It's super hard to explain. Well, not really but still. He just doesn't get that I don't like him. I keep rejecting him and he just doesn't get it. I almost wish I'd never started talking to him." Kaelan sighed, flopping down on her bed, face going into a pillow, muffling her voice.

Zabi sat on the floor next to her, still taking in everything in the room. She noticed, on the back of the door to her dorm, there was multiple lyrics printed in bright ink colors and taped on to form a sort of inspirational mural, some of which read:

'_The world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me ~ My Chemical Romance'_

'_So raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways ~ P!nk'_

'_Love is not a choice. ~ Panic! At The Disco'_

'_Sometimes you gotta step back and take a breath, find a different point of view ~ Big Time Rush'_

'_We laughed until we cried ~Jason Aldean'_

"Yeah… When you guys left, Talos made some sort of mention to that. I didn't think too much of it though. And you shouldn't either. Sure, that kiddo may not take a hint, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't wish you never met him. He seems like a very nice guy. Have you ever had a boyfriend before?" 

Kaelan shrugged.

"No. I just. I don't think I have time for one. I mean, I love the idea, but honestly...there's just something wrong with me I think. I mean, I've had crushes on singers and actors and celebrity guys, but when it comes to guys I know it's like, you're cute, but I don't like you like that. You know?"

"I totally know what you mean. Nothing wrong with that." Zabi smiled. "This is a nice little room you got here. It's quite cozy, and definitely a little more spacious since your old roommate got kicked out. Must be nice?"

"Truth be told I kinda hate it. I like having other people around, but people always shut me out someway or another. I'm seen as a loner, but it's not exactly by choice that it looks that way. I just wish I had more people here to hang out with. You should see my guitar, it's in my closet, I've wanted to start a band for the longest time but I can't sing so it's like what's the point and I just give up. So too much alone time gets to me, it's way I don't like being in here much. I'm usually in the coffeeshops here on campus." 

And then the sound of Kaelan's stereo switching the disc made both girls look at it, and Kaelan facepalmed at the song that began to play.

"Have you ever seen the video for this? If you have, can we just take a second and talk about how fuckin' sexy Jared Leto is? Ugh, forget all the BDSM stuff in the video, just that opening shot of him shirtless asleep is pure gold." Kaelan stated, and then she noticed Zabi's half smirk.

"As long as we're going there with mentioning BDSM if you've read Fifty Shades of Grey did you know it originally was Twilight fanfiction?"

"Oh shut up, no way. Sparkly vampires doing th- ha. No. Hate to jump topics. but holy shit if we're talking about better love stories than Twilight let me just say, Fall Out Boy, the video for A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me."

Both girls giggled just as the chorus kicked in. 

"_Tell me would you kill to save a life?_

_Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?_

_Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn_

_This hurricane's chasing us all underground_"

"Ahh...such a good song…" Zabi said as she closed her eyes and swayed back and forth with the chorus, a smile exposing her cat fangs from between her lips. Kaelan watched expectantly and then shook her head.

"It really is. And that video though….hng. Sorry. You must think I'm the weirdest girl ever...eheh…" Zabi opened her eyes and her ears perked up as she turned to look at Kaelan, whose butterscotch ears were semi laid back. Zabi stood up and turned her back towards Kaelan, who was still laying on the bed. 

"Nahh. You're pretty cool. You're not weird at all…" she drifted off as the eerie instrumental of the bridge of the song played. Then Zabi sang aloud:

"_Do you really want..._

_Do you really want me?_

_Do you really want me dead,_

_Or alive to torture for my sins?_

_Do you really want..._

_Do you really want me?_

_Do you really want me dead,_

_Or alive to live a lie?"_

Kaelan lie on her side, staring up at her in awe of her singing voice. It went along so well with Jared's...it was entrancing.

"You must think I'm weird." she said. 

"No...not at all…" Kaelan trailed off. "You have a wonderful, beautiful singing voice.."

Just then, a second before the chorus started again, Zabi turned on her heels, her ears and tail perked and flew up to Kaelan and placed a hand on the each side of her face, enclosing her face in her hands, and pressed her lips to Kaelan's as the chorus started, "_Tell me would you kill...to save a life?"_

Kaelan was caught completely off-guard and had no choice but to return the kiss. Zabi pressed herself down on the bed, against Kaelan and the kissing became more passionate as the song went on. _"Tell would you kill... to prove you're right?"_

"_Crash, crash, burn….let it all burn…" _Zabi was on top of Kaelan completely pressed against her body, the two passionately exchanging kisses, nipping at each others bottom lips and letting out subtle moans in each other ears every once in a while. 

"_This hurricane's chasing us all underground…" _They stopped and they looked at each other, both blushing and catching their breath. Zabi looked Kaelan in her eyes and whispered, her voice a tad shaky,

"I must go now." And then during the calm instrumental after the chorus, she high-tailed it out the door, her tail flowing behind her.

(Kaelan POV)

As Zabrina flew out the door, I laid in my bed stunned. My mouth was still partially open and I absent-mindedly touched my hand to my mouth. So many thoughts were flying through my head as I just stared up at the ceiling. Despite all the thoughts that I couldn't make anything of, I was surprisingly calm. Normally in any given situation, I would be going mentally insane. But no; I just laid there. I turned to face the wall and slipped under the covers and pulled them up to my face. I grabbed another pillow and clung to it.

She kissed me. _Kissed _me. And not only that, but she was on top of me too… What was she thinking? Did she really like me? No, that can't be right… She probably just got caught up in the mood of the song and with all that talk of the music video for it didn't help either. 

But either way, all of that didn't matter. What did matter was that I was _calm._ I'm never calm. Never. I knew why I was calm though. The storm that's been raging in my head came to an end just a few moments ago. Right then, I knew. Everything made sense now. The reason why none of the boys interested me at school. The reason why I keep rejecting Skoda. All these jumbled up feelings all seemed to align. I was in love with a girl. 

And then it hit me that it was still half an hour until the afternoon classes started - I hadn't talked to Zabi about her schedule yet so _oh god what if she's in my next class?_ Yeah, that wouldn't be weird or anything.

But it's just - it's scary to think almost a year and half of constant mental turmoil completely stopped in less than five minutes.

And then, myself being the idiot that I am, I get up off my bed, open my door, and take off, figuring I'll beat Zabi back to her own dorm. She can't just leave me like this, do what she did and walk out. Now I want answers, my logic isn't helping and at this point I don't even care to go to class, I can be late, so what. These things are more important. 

I get to Bigelow Hall and take the stairs two at a time up to the fourth floor, which is a _LOT _of exercise when you looked at it because the building didn't have an elevator. 

As soon as I got into the main hallway, I knocked on a nearby door to have some half-horse kid answer. Without even letting the kid get one word in as to why I'd disturbed him, I asked if he might know which room was Zabi's.

"Uh, transfer kid, right? Half-cat?"

I nodded.

"Last door on the right, looking out towards Anderson." 

"Thanks!"

I smiled as he shut his door, obviously confused. Another two minutes and I was in front of the door to her dorm, and I took a deep breath before knocking.

"Who is it?" she called, before she added, "Oh wait a minute-" and the door opened.

"I figured. No one else's talked to me yet, so it had to be you. You here about the...well..."

"Yeah." I grinned, and she laughed and shook her head, "Come on, we can talk while you help me put away stuff...if you wouldn't mind?"

"It's fine." 

So we walked into her dorm and I shut the door behind us. Her room seemed even bigger than mine! Then again, that could have just been because she didn't have any posters up or even a comforter on her bed yet.

**Will NOT be continued, idea has officially DIED.**


End file.
